New Years resolution...

Who doesn't love a good C.S. Lewis quote?

I know what you're thinking...
New Years resolution? That thing people do where they say they're going to change their life or their body or something and then after a week they forget about it and go back to their jobs or school unchanged?
Maybe that's just what I was thinking.

To be honest, I'm not a huge fan of New Years resolutions.
Why? Because I'm not a huge fan of making promises and then breaking them, telling myself I'm going to change and them failing because my fear gets the better of me.
And why do we need an excuse to change ourselves in the first place? Why is New Years such a big deal?

This is my opinion of the secular New Years.
But I've recently discovered that if you apply your Faith to the concept, everything turns around.
I follow this really great Catholic account on Instagram run by a really awesome Catholic teen, and she posted a list of ideas for the New Year's resolutions for the soul. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if I shared them right now. (These aren't word for word, but you get the idea)

1. 5 minutes.
5 minutes of prayer each day can change your life.
To be honest, I pray a rosary daily, but other than that I don't do a ton.
I'm going to start with 5 minutes and work my way up. Why don't you try it too? Unless you already
have an awesome prayer life. In that case, just keep doing what you're doing.

2. "I always forget to pray!"
Same. Well, sometimes.
But this year I'm setting my alarm for 9:45 (when I'm hopefully wrapping up homework). Just sit in silence, go through your day, whatever. Just take time to be in God's presence. It's the best time you'll spent on earth.

3. Sirach 2:4-6
4 Accept whatever happens to you,
    and be patient
    when you suffer humiliation,
5         because gold is tested with fire,
        and acceptable people are tested
        in the furnace of humiliation.
6 Trust him, and he will help you;
    make your ways straight,
    and hope in him.

I had to look this one up.
Perfect people aren't made overnight. You have to get up every single day and try, try, try. It's hard, but trust me when I say that God can use every single moment of your life to make you into who He wants you to be if you just give Him everything.

4. Read GREAT books.
Don't waste your time on good books, only read the great ones.
This year I want to read St. Faustina's diary, St. Augustine's Confessions, the Imitation of Christ, a book by JPII, and re-read The Story of a Soul by St. Therese.

Also, read your Bible!!!
I'm not being a hypocrite, I'm going to read mine too.
But as Albert Einstein said (even though he wasn't a Christian)
"No one can read the Gospels without feeling the actual presence of Jesus. His personality pulsates in every word."
Which is so true. I fall in love with Jesus again every time I read the Bible.

5. Find a new saint!!!
This is the one I'm most excited about. Why?
Last night I came across the most awesome website in the entire world. It's from the author of Something other than God (another book to add to the list). It's a random saint generator.

You press a button, say a quick prayer, and it gives you a saint to be your patron!!! (In this case, for 2015).
Isn't that awesome?!?!?!?!?!?
When I did it felt like I was standing on one side of a door with my new best friend on the other side. I couldn't wait to meet them.
And who did I get?
St. Maria Goretti!!! I did a project on her 5 years ago in elementary school. She's the patron of young girls, and I know that she will help me in the coming year to follow God's will and take every opportunity to witness to and grow in my faith.

http://jenniferfulwiler.com/saints/

I'm so excited for all to come in the next year, and I hope that you stick around to experience it with me :)

Sorry this post got so long.

I hope you have a blessed New Years Eve with friends and family.
And Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!
It's still Christmas, and the baby Jesus is still waiting for us to take Him into our arms and love Him forever.
And don't forget to go to mass on New Years Day! It's a Holy Day of Obligation! (But who wouldn't want an extra excuse to go to Mass?)

Love,
A Catholic Teen

A Poem

I've been wanting to post a poem on here since I started this blog, and since I can't think of anything else to write about, now is the perfect time.

I hope you enjoy. Poetry can be hard for me, my thoughts can get so muddled up and I can never think of words that rhyme. But I did my best.

A Poem

Sitting here in the late morning air

Just cool enough for comfort

I feel the touch of the wind

And the soft cool stare

Of the sky, the purest of colors

Out in the open I'm stripped away

Nothing more than a soul

I look within

In the simplest of ways

And try my best to surrender control

Confined within walls I'm just a person

Bored with nothing to do

But in nature I'm able

To catch a glimpse 

Of what You see, what is true

And what do I see when I search my heart,

What is buried deep in its depths?

Love hidden by the world

And a desire for You alone

Longs to escape with every breath

What is it like to live for You alone,

To forget myself completely?

One day I'll know 

When I find where to go,

But until then I'll gaze upon your beauty so sweetly

Love,

A Catholic Teen

Christmas is here!!!

Today is the day! The one we've all waited for all year. Our hearts have recieved our Lord with joy, and all is at peace in the world!

But...

The presents are unwrapped, the family has gone home, and we've already started to take down the decorations.

Christmas is over, right?

WRONG!!!

(And by the way, my family still has decorations up. I'm trying to convince them to keep them up until the Christmas season is actually over).

Today was full of a lot of joy.

Not necessarily the kind of joy where you're happy all the time and everything is perfect and you're skipping in meadows singing happily like a bird.

Sorry, I got carried a bit away there...

No, it was the kind of joy that is always present, that eventually leaves you with an interior peace no matter what happens.

I don't know how long it's going to stick around, but I'm going to enjoy it while I can. The world does tend to have that affect on me, taking away the graces that God gives me.

I have a reputation of being a very joyful and happy person all the time. That's part of who I am, but sometimes I find myself forcing myself to be joyful just so that other people see me with a big smile and think of me a certain way. It's confusing.

Today I did my best to not worry about that.

You never know how many Christmases you have left with your family, and I tried to give everyone in my family a joyful memory to look back on in the years to come.

Not that I'm planning on dying or anything...

But in a way I am.

When you're discerning a religious vocation, especially one to the cloistered life, a part of you can see the pain that lies in store for your family. You want to protect them and make the best of the time you have. 

Part of religious life is dying to yourself, and loving Christ more than anyone else.

But I'm not there yet, so I'm not going to discuss that right now.

Presents are great (my favorite one this year is this adorable St. Therese keychain) . When I was younger, presents was all I cared about. I would lie awake on Chistmas Eve just dreaming about what I would get the next morning, and half the time I was disappointed. The past few years, though, have been different. Jesus has slowly been (and still is) transforming and converting my heart so I can love Him more.

This year I was filled with more love and peace than ever before.

But don't get me wrong, I was only scratching the top.

It's not like I was radiating holiness, not even close.

As we left my grandparents house and I looked across the sky filled with a beautiful sunset, I felt the pure awe of a child, and I heard our Lord say to me "even greater things are to come."

Happy birthday Jesus :)

I hope that through Advent and continuing into the rest of the Christmas season, you grow in love for our amazingly beautiful God.

I'm praying for you all :)

Love,

A Catholic Teen

Christmas Eve

Tonight my family and I went to Christmas Eve mass and it was very nice.

It was very crowded, as expected, but I only saw one or two awkward receivings of the Eucharist and unacceptably short skirts. And we got a nice second row seat.

No, it isn't the most reverent mass. It's hard to be extremely reverent when you've got family talking and babies crying and hundreds of people packed into a not humongous space.
But it was nice.

The music at my parish is fantastic, and all of the classic Christmas hyms were beautiful and really helped set the mood.

Sometimes I get self conscious being too reverent around my family or just around the people at my parish who have known me all my life (because neither are super into their faith. But probably more faithful than average). But tonight I was so full of peace, none of that mattered. It was just me and the baby Jesus and there was nothing I could do but adore Him with all that I have.

Because there were so many people, it took quite a while for everyone to receive communion (but nothing near how long it took at my Confirmation mass). I didn't mind, it gave me a nice long chance to be with the Lord. Unfortunately, this isn't something I get to do all that often because I can't drive myself to Adoration.

I've always wanted to go to a midnight Christmas mass at a monastery near-ish to my house. There's something about Christmas Eve masses that happen earlier in the day that make it feel like Christmas hasn't come yet. I know it's silly, because Jesus wasn't actually born in December at all, but still.
That in mind, lately I've been trying to be present in each moment and make the best of things, so that's what I did.

It was all so simple, so sweet. Just sitting at the foot of the altar, which was transformed into a manger before my eyes. Our Blessed Mother showed be the awe and joy of our Savior's birth as she placed Him in my arms.
Our imaginations are some of our greatest tools, ones that God gave us for a reason, and we should use them while we are able to.

So silent, quiet, and peacefully our Lord came into my heart tonight. And He was met with open arms and the pure joy of a child doing her best to receive Him who comes to her as a child.

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin, mother and child
Holy infant, so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace,
Sleep in heavenly peace

May you have the most blessed and joyful Christmas Day ever!!!

Love,
A Catholic Teen

Clouds...

I have a very Franciscan spirituality (have I mentioned that before? I think I have. Sorry...) and as you would assume, nature is one of my favorite things ever (besides the Eucharist, of course). I could stay outside for hours, running in fields of flowers, playing in streams, discovering woods, etc. You get the idea. 

Well, the weather has to be right. Not too hot, not too cold, not mosquitos. But that's not important.

And off all things nature related, can you guess which ones my favorite?

I'll give you a hint. It's the name of this post. 

Yes, clouds, my one true love. I could be completely, or at least partially content in a world desolate of great beauty if there was at least the most magnificent clouds ever.

I could literally watch clouds for days.

They're one if God's favorite ways of showing us His love. What's more obvious than clouds? They're everywhere. Too many people don't take the opportunity to simply look up.

Whenever I see an especially beautiful cloud, I'm filled with an unexplainable wonder and awe and love for our awesome God.

The only thing I can do is raise my eyes, stretch out my arms, and be. This state of just being is a prayer in itself, and quite possibly the purest and the most simple prayer known to man. St. Francis (and St. Therese and Anne of Green Gables) knew this prayer very well. 

But I didn't decide to write this post just to rant about clouds.

Gosh, I sound a but crazy.

No, I am also going to show you some nice pictures of clouds I took the other day.

If that's not your thing, than by all means, close this page. Maybe go check out a different post of mine that better suits your taste.

But if you too are a cloud enthusiast, than enjoy. (You know, there is an official cloud appreciation society).

Pretty, aren't they? :)

Love,

A Catholic Teen

Spiritual Dryness

This time last year, my family was sick with the flu. It wasn't the most cheery of holidays, as you might imagine.

This year, we're physically all happy and healthy, but a different kind of sickness has descended upon me (sounds so dramatic, doesn't it). One that my family doesn't know about.

The dreaded spiritual dryness.
Typing out these words makes it sound so final. Like a diagnosis.
And I don't want to over-exaggerate what I've been feeling. It's not like the great periods of spiritual dryness many saints went through.

You see, God is so good to me. I'm used to seeing Him everywhere, being constantly in awe of His beauty and power.
It's a shock to my system when I have an especially dreary day where nothing seems to be looking up. Especially right before Christmas when I've been preparing my soul so diligently for our Savior.

It all started out with laziness. Breaks from school often lead to laziness, and laziness often leads to lukewarmness in my prayer life and relationship with God. I know, I'm just that weak.
I suppose that's the point of all of this, to make me stronger.

There's two clear sources of spiritual dryness. One is, as I mentioned, lukewarm faith. If it gets out of hand, sometimes the only thing God can do to make you notice how far gone you are is to take a step back.
The second is if a soul is so holy that the devil cant help but personally intercede and make it as hard as possible for the soul to take one more step in the right direction.

I was feeling pretty down, pretty selfish, and like there was nothing I could do to make up for anything bad I've ever done. This is one mind trick dryness plays with you, making you feel hopeless, like there's no point to anything anymore.
Advent being the season of hope, you can see how I was also feeling bad because of all the Christmas spirit that I should be excited about but wasn't.

It's all so confusing, this stuff.

Anyways. I came upon an article by the wonderful Mother Angelica (the Poor Clare of Perpetual Adoration who started EWTN) about spiritual dryness. That nun has so much wisdom, it's unbelievable!
Right away, I was very soothed and comforted by her words, which spoke right to my soul.
I'll post the link below..

It made me realize the reason and value in spiritual suffering. Spiritual dryness comes to everyone. If your a Catholic (or any type of Christian. Yes, Catholics are Christians) who is earnestly seeking a relationship with God and the path towards holiness, you will at some point experience it. I've never had it last more that a couple days, and to be honest, I know that I haven't suffered very much in comparison to others.

The thing is, no matter how long it lasts or how bad it is, spiritual dryness is God's way of changing us, raising us to places we'd never have gone before, and drawing us closer to Him.
Why must we feel separated from Him then? I do not know. That is the paradox.
All I know is that it is a sign that you're headed in the right direction.
Don't give up. Don't worry. God needs to separate you from the things of this world in order to make you as holy as possible.

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope that you're having a fruitful Advent and are patiently awaiting our Blessed Savior!

Love,
A Catholic Teen

http://www.ewtn.com/library/mother/madawn.htm

Just some thoughts...

The last, stressful week of school is over and now is time to relax and focus our minds on what Christmas is truly about... loving our Savior more perfectly!!!
Instead of going out to that cool party I didn't even know about, I spent a quiet night at home with my family. And after watching The Amazing Race and re-watching an episode of Sherlock, I'm still up, waiting for what to happen exactly? I don't know. So that's why I'm writing this. Don't worry, I've already prayed my rosary for the day.

Some pretty cool things have crossed my path while perusing the internet or other random things that I think are worth sharing. So here they are.

1. The Nativity Story. The other day in Theology class my wonderful teacher was showing us Christmas related youtube videos, and one of them included clips from this movie, which I had never seen before. They whole thing is on youtube, and I would highly recommend it to anyone looking for some good God-centered entertainment to reflect on Christ's birth while also not worrying about stress and other things. It really changed the way I look at the struggles Mary went to leading up to Jesus' birth, and also Joseph's love for the mother and child. And the pure awe that comes with anything truly related to Christmas (not snowmen or Santa Claus or the secular stuff).
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=meIDz98MFBs

Also, in one of the other videos, the background music was this great song called "How Many Kings" by downhere. The lyrics are absolutely beautiful, and I've been listening to it nonstop the last few days.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lw3EG6kVNtI

2. This quote has popped up a couple times lately, and so I felt the need to share it. It's one of my all-time favorites:

"In my deepest wound I saw your glory, and it astounded me."
-St. Augustine

3. Another youtube video, this one I found on Instagram. It's the vocation story of a priest in some northern diocese- Bismark, I believe. I've never met this guy- Fr. Joshua Waltz, but during this video (it'll take about an hour to watch, but it's beyond worth it) I was laughing hysterically (not joking), and just in complete awe of how God has worked in his life. And he's so funny. Towards the end, when he started talking about how life not lived completely for God isn't worth it, I started crying. It was life changing. I beg you, please watch it as soon as you can.
https://m.youtube.com/results?q=fr.%20joshua%20waltz&sm=1

4. My Imagine Sisters package came in!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got THE shirt, some stickers, a bracelet, and the sunglasses.
I can't wait to see if I get to go to a Steubenville conference this summer or NCYC next year so I can rock my #nunswag with all my other fellow Catholic teens.

I thought I had a lot to share with y'all, but I'm really tired and I should go to bed. I'll try to post a lot over Christmas break. I like little stuff, like quotes that inspire me and stuff.

What about you? Do you want me to post anything in particular? About me? Inspirational stuff? A certain topic? Just leave a comment :)
Also, if you have a CATHOLIC/christian/inspirational/cool blog you want me to check out, just comment below.

Until next time, I hope you are having a most blessed end of the Advent season (that sounds sad, but don't worry it's not over get. I've decided that Advent is my favorite time of year. Well, it depends. Can you tell that I'm tired). I hope you're growing in your prayer life like I'm trying to, and imitating Christ's humility. The Lord of Lords, King of Kings, the One who is Love and who created the universe with His own two hands became the sweetest, poorest baby in all of human history just so that we, who are so broken and lost, could love Him. And so He could prove to us His love my the ultimate sacrifice of the Cross.
But we're not to that yet.
So let's live in the presents, loving each moment to its fullest.
He's almost here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
A Catholic Teen