Spiritual Dryness

This time last year, my family was sick with the flu. It wasn't the most cheery of holidays, as you might imagine.

This year, we're physically all happy and healthy, but a different kind of sickness has descended upon me (sounds so dramatic, doesn't it). One that my family doesn't know about.

The dreaded spiritual dryness.
Typing out these words makes it sound so final. Like a diagnosis.
And I don't want to over-exaggerate what I've been feeling. It's not like the great periods of spiritual dryness many saints went through.

You see, God is so good to me. I'm used to seeing Him everywhere, being constantly in awe of His beauty and power.
It's a shock to my system when I have an especially dreary day where nothing seems to be looking up. Especially right before Christmas when I've been preparing my soul so diligently for our Savior.

It all started out with laziness. Breaks from school often lead to laziness, and laziness often leads to lukewarmness in my prayer life and relationship with God. I know, I'm just that weak.
I suppose that's the point of all of this, to make me stronger.

There's two clear sources of spiritual dryness. One is, as I mentioned, lukewarm faith. If it gets out of hand, sometimes the only thing God can do to make you notice how far gone you are is to take a step back.
The second is if a soul is so holy that the devil cant help but personally intercede and make it as hard as possible for the soul to take one more step in the right direction.

I was feeling pretty down, pretty selfish, and like there was nothing I could do to make up for anything bad I've ever done. This is one mind trick dryness plays with you, making you feel hopeless, like there's no point to anything anymore.
Advent being the season of hope, you can see how I was also feeling bad because of all the Christmas spirit that I should be excited about but wasn't.

It's all so confusing, this stuff.

Anyways. I came upon an article by the wonderful Mother Angelica (the Poor Clare of Perpetual Adoration who started EWTN) about spiritual dryness. That nun has so much wisdom, it's unbelievable!
Right away, I was very soothed and comforted by her words, which spoke right to my soul.
I'll post the link below..

It made me realize the reason and value in spiritual suffering. Spiritual dryness comes to everyone. If your a Catholic (or any type of Christian. Yes, Catholics are Christians) who is earnestly seeking a relationship with God and the path towards holiness, you will at some point experience it. I've never had it last more that a couple days, and to be honest, I know that I haven't suffered very much in comparison to others.

The thing is, no matter how long it lasts or how bad it is, spiritual dryness is God's way of changing us, raising us to places we'd never have gone before, and drawing us closer to Him.
Why must we feel separated from Him then? I do not know. That is the paradox.
All I know is that it is a sign that you're headed in the right direction.
Don't give up. Don't worry. God needs to separate you from the things of this world in order to make you as holy as possible.

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I hope that you're having a fruitful Advent and are patiently awaiting our Blessed Savior!

Love,
A Catholic Teen

http://www.ewtn.com/library/mother/madawn.htm