Back to School: My Thoughts

Hello wonderful readers of my blog!

First of all I would like to apologize.

I really was planning on posting a lot more this summer and that just didn't work out. I got lazy. I went on a trip or two. I was lazy some more.
That doesn't necessarily mean I was lazy in my Faith. I do feel like it has grown this summer. I'm not really sure how yet but soon enough the stress of school year will test it for me.

Summer always goes fast for us students. It's all been a blur- a fun, relaxing, beautiful blur. I have lots of moments that stand out to me as times when I felt perfectly content in life- licking delicious popsicles on the first day of summer, crowded onto a couch with my friends watching Audrey Hepburn, sitting around a campfire with my family, dangling my feet over the edge of a dock, laughing in a van on the way to community service, enjoying some quiet time with a friend I had really missed. Those will surely help me through any hard times to come.

 

I can understand why so many generations have built up the idea that going back to school is the most intense feeling of torture we experience in our adolescent lives. The exhausting hours of sitting in classrooms, late nights desperately studying things we don't understand, the anxiety of getting bad grades. All the negativity is centered around the possibility of failing *shudder*

Pretty much my whole academic life I've been a straight-A student. It hasn't been easy, but I've grown to expect it of myself. High school has really changed things. I've gotten used to not doing so well and have accepted it- but only in little things. Failing a test, for example, would be unacceptable.

Just like in so many other areas of our teenage lives, we are told that we have to be perfect when it comes to school. I know my parents just want me to do my best and that my teachers can always help me, but there's still the pressure of getting the best grades. Of not letting myself down.

Lately I've had to remind myself more and more often that IT WILL BE OK. I know I'm taking some really hard classes this year but IT WILL BE OK. I know that I don't have friends in all my classes but IT WILL BE OK. I probably won't get a 4.0 but IT WILL BE OK.

I'll get to see my friends every day and we can go to football games and have even more fun than we did this summer. There will be pep rallies and dances and cookies! (our school has amazing food). There will be good stuff too.

And even if that isn't enough, you know what will be enough? God. God has and is and will always be enough. No circumstance, no matter how happy or sad or relaxed or stressed it makes me can change that. If I'm up crying at 2 a.m. because I have no idea what I'm going to do about math then I can and will get down on my knees and pray and He will comfort me. If I'm having trouble with friends or boys or whatever, I can take a moment and read the Bible and let His words fill me up or pray a Rosary and have a nice long chat with Mama Mary. Plus, I'm lucky enough to go to a Catholic school and have theology class, so hopefully that will be awesome too.

"When you call me, and come and pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart." (Jer 29:12-13)

To all you fellow students, we can do this. It won't be easy but it's never easy. Actually, nothing that is worth it ever is.
To anyone who knows someone going back to school, please pray for me and them and all of us. It is much appreciated.

Songs that are Awesome (Mumford & Sons)

A few months ago a friend introduced me to the world of Spotify. Beforehand I never really listened to much music besides Matt Maher and Audrey Assad (who are awesome by the way) because I just wasn't really interested in anything else. With unlimited music to make my own playlists, I began to venture out.

And what did I find? Not all modern music is like that junk they play on the radio (you know... the stations that play the top 20 on repeat). I found a niche- Indie Folk/Acoustic that suits me perfectly. Now I have a lovely list of songs that I can listen to without fear that my mind is being infiltrated by all the lies society tries to tell us. Just one more thing I don't have to worry about, right? :)

You may be thinking that this is too good to be true. I know that I had put myself in a bubble that all secular music was a bad influence. To show you my new point of view, I would like to show you some lyrics by one of my favorite bands, Mumford & Sons.

Aren't they just adorable?!?

Mumford & Son's music is poetry. Put to music. When I took a moment to read the words and process what they mean, I was amazed by their pure beauty. Here's some of my favorite examples.

After the Storm
And I took you by the hand
And we stood tall,
And remembered our own land,
What we lived for.

 

And there will come a time, you’ll see, with no more tears

And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.

Get over your hill and see what you find there,

With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair.

 

 

 

I Will Wait

But I’ll kneel down,

Wait for now

And I’ll kneel down,

Know my ground
 

And I will wait, I will wait for you

And I will wait, I will wait for you

 

 

 

Awake My Soul

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die

And where you invest your love, you invest your life

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die

And where you invest your love, you invest your life
 

Awake my soul

For you were made to meet your maker

 

 

 

Roll Away Your Stone

I seems that all my bridges have been burnt

But you say that’s exactly how this grace thing works.

It’s not the long walk home that will change this heart

But the welcome I receive with every start

Darkness is a harsh term don’t you think?

And yet it dominates the things I see

 

 

Sigh No More

Love; it will not betray you

Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free

Be more like the man you were made to be
 

There is a design, an alignment to cry

Of my heart to see,

The beauty of love as it was made to be

 

 

The highlighted parts are the lines that really, really speak to me. The ones that have me pondering the meaning of life after midnight. The ones I can picture myself dancing to at my wedding (if that's what God has in store for me). The ones that have shown me how beautiful the world can be, even if it's not Jesus Jams.

 

I hope you enjoyed these and feel free to look up the songs and listen to them- it's totally worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(the lovely pictures are courtesy of pintrest)

 

  

Amazing Cookies

This is completely non-faith related, but it's my blog so I guess I get to post whatever I want. And these cookies are worth their own post.

I was scrolling through pintrest the other day (one of the many ways I spend my free time) and I came across this recipe. They are called "Twix Cookies" because of the 3 main components- a shortbread thumbprint cookie filled with caramel and a chocolate drizzle on top. I said they were amazing...

This recipe is tweaked a bit. It originally called for melted store-bought caramels but I decided to make my own caramel sauce, which is a lot easier and even more delicious then it sounds.

Since it's summer I have much more time to bake and cook (another one of the ways I spend my free time). These were definitely worth the effort and if you make them you will know why!

Prep time: 15 mins
Cook time: 10 mins
Total time: 25 mins
Serves: 24 (mine made a few more)

Ingredients:
Shortbread
2/3 cup softened butter (about 10 tbs)
1/2 cup sugar
2 eggs (just the yolks)
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups flour
Caramel sauce/filling:
1 cup sugar
6 tbs butter
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
1 tsp salt
Chocolate drizzle:
chocolate chips (I eyeballed it, but I think about 1/3 cup)

Instructions (shortbread):
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit
2. Combine the butter, sugar, egg yolks, and vanilla on medium until creamy
3. Add flour, beat at low speed until well mixed
4. Cover and refrigerate for about an hour
5. Shape dough into 1-inch balls
6. Make a hole in the middle of each ball with your thumb or a spoon. You want to make it pretty big for maximum caramel capacity but make sure there's a good lip on the edge so it won't spill over
 and place on cookie sheet
7. Bake for 7-10 minutes (I pulled mine out 2-3 minutes early and used a spoon to re-do the holes in the middle because they'd flattened out in the oven. Then I put them back in for the remaining time.)
8. Cool
Instructions (caramel sauce):
1. Put sugar in a medium sized pot and place over medium heat
2. Start stirring constantly to prevent burning (the sugar won't do anything for a couple minutes. Then it will get increasingly clumpy and eventually become a liquid)
3. Once it has reached a nice amber color and all the big clumps are gone, add the butter
4. It will bubble a lot, but keep stirring constantly for another 1-2 minutes (but no longer)
5. Add the cream and stir until combined for one minute
6. Remove immediately and stir in salt
7. Set aside to cool
Instructions (chocolate):
1. Put chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl
2. Microwave for 30 seconds at a time and stir until it is completely melted (I microwaved for 1 minute. Make sure not to over-do it again or it will get a weird texture and not melt)
3. Put in a small plastic bag and snip a VERY SMALL hole in one corner (normally I just drizzle with a spoon but it wasn't working out so I used this method. I highly recommend it because the chocolate drizzle came out looking very nice).

How to assemble the cookies:
1. Either while the cookies are still on the tray (but mostly cooled) or on a wire rack (probably with something underneath), fill the middle of each cookie with caramel. I used a spoon and eyeballed it. More than a teaspoon but less than a tablespoon. Be careful that they don't overflow, but if they do it's not a big deal. The most important thing is not to skimp on the caramel- it's super yummy.
 Important note!!!!: If the caramel has cooled too much and when you stir it it isn't a homogenous liquid, heat it over medium low and stir constantly. Some of the butter may separate and rise to the top, but you can either leave this or pour it out (CAREFULLY so you don't pour out all the caramel)(I know this from experience *wink*)
2. Sprinkle a SMALL pinch of salt on each of the cookies
3. Using the chocolate in the plastic bag, pipe/squeeze lines of chocolate on top of each cookie. They do not have to be perfect by any means. See the picture if you need an example.
4. At this point they are ready to eat, but you probably want to let the caramel and chocolate set a bit. I put them in the fridge for a while. But I completely understand if you can't resist the temptation to eat one then and there.
5. Enjoy! And don't forget to leave one or two for everyone else...

I hope that if anyone decides to bake these cookies they love them as much as I did! Now I'm off to eat my last one :( They've only lasted two days in our house

Jesus is my only friend

For anyone who didn't know, yesterday was the Feast of Corpus Christi where all us Catholics celebrate the fact that Jesus is TRULY AND ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY PRESENT IN THE EUCHARIST. Yep, that's right. It's awesome.

To celebrate, my parish had a vigil of adoration for the entire night, and I was lucky enough for the first hour with my youth group. That being said, my youth leader unfortunately didn't really advertise it much and I was one of the only ones there.

I was reminded of something St. Therese wrote in her autobiography Story of a Soul that has really stuck with me. She wrote:

"No one paid any attention to me, and I would go up to the choir of the chapel and remain before the Blessed Sacrament until the moment when Papa came to get me. This was my only consolation, for was not Jesus my only Friend? I knew how to speak to Him; conversations with creatures, even pious conversations, fatigued my soul. I felt it was far more valuable to speak to God than to speak about Him..."

That quote really spoke to me. I felt a connection to St. Therese, sitting there in the Church with not a lot of other youth around me.

I talked to Jesus a lot that night. There were a lot of things in my life that needed to be sorted out and talked through with Him, and I left with a much stronger sense of how my life is going. The next morning in mass I felt so much closer to Him too. I love spending time with Jesus. I just want to spend time with Him forever. Oh wait, that's heaven :)

Maybe I was exaggerating when I said Jesus is my only friend. But He's probably my best friend. I have other friends, and I do have someone who I consider to be my best friend. But at the end of the day, it's always going to come down to Him. He's forever and everything else is temporary.

Summer!!!

After weeks (or months) of craziness and work and stress, the long awaited days of complete freedom and laziness are here!!!

 

Ok I have a confession to make. I've been on summer break for a week now. I promised myself that I'd finally blog again as soon as school got out, but that didn't happen. When you stop doing something it can take a little bit to start again. But I'm back! Two months later, but I'm back.

I'm only one week in and I don't really know what to do with myself. When I'm asleep (or half asleep and lying in bed) I want to get up and be active and productive. When I'm awake I just want to sleep. I am a teenage after all. I'm pretty sure that I've more than made up for the hours of sleep I missed studying for finals.

I guess that's really why I'm writing this. To prove to myself that I am making use of the time I have to do whatever I want. I don't have a lot to share about my faith at the moment. I hate to say it but if I said anything else it wouldn't really be the truth. My faith kind of got put on hold these past few weeks. School and my social life shouldn't be the most important thing in my life, but it can be a slippery slope. Don't worry, I'm getting myself back on track for a awesome and God-filled summer.

However, I do have a few little things to share that I've spent a while thinking about this summer.

1. Music
A friend introduced me to the world of Spotify and since then I've been working on my own Indie-acoustic playlist. No, it's not Jesus Jams but it's the next best thing. Here's a few of my favorites:
          "Awake My Soul"- Mumford and Sons (this one is really good)
          "New Slang"- The Shins
          "Mountain Sound"- Of Monsters and Men
          "Wings"- Birdy
          "Photograph"- Ed Sheeran

2. Art
Art is one of my favorite things to do. Or draw. I decided to turn the rest of my English notebook into a sketchbook to fill this summer. It's coming along nicely. Doodling (or copying off of Pintrest) is very relaxing, and I would highly recommend it if you're ever bored.

p.s. those pictures aren't things I've drawn, just things I use for "inspiration" ;)

3. Books
I haven't exactly spent as much time reading this week as I would like to (too much time sleeping I guess). This may be because the humongous list of books I have to read is a little overwhelming. They aren't even required, I just want to read them for fun. It's amazing what a difference one hour of quiet reading can make. It can change your whole day. In summer when my days don't really consist of anything, reading can be very important.
I would give you a list of the books I want to read, but it's very vague and I honestly don't have one. Instead enjoy these nice pictures of books.

 

 

 

 

Divine Mercy Sunday

Happy Divine Mercy Sunday everyone!!!
Never mind the fact that it was actually yesterday. A ton of things came up last night right when I was originally planning on writing this. So this is as good as we're going to get.

I posted a you tube video the other day titled "Easter and Books!". Well, it was titled something else first and then I changed it to be more relevant. But you get the idea.
Here's the link:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMODBXbVxYE
I mentioned six books I've bought recently (If you'd like to know the titles, check the description box of the video), one of which was  Divine Mercy in My Soul by St. Faustina Kowalska. a.k.a. the young polish nun who Jesus chose to spread the Divine Mercy message to the whole world. Basically, it's her diary where she recorded everything Jesus told her.

I'm sure that most the people reading this know all about that, so I'm not going to go into the history of it. However, I would like to share my experience with the Divine Mercy Novena leading up to Divine Mercy Sunday.
This year was the first year I've prayed it, much thanks to praymorenovenas.com. It started on Good Friday and concluded on the seventh day of the octave of Easter (Saturday).

It. Was. Amazing.

Normally when I see in my inbox that there's a new novena coming up, I have to come up with some random intention to pray for. With this novena, there's a specific intention  included every day. With each day of the novena, you immerse certain souls in the sea of God's mercy and draw them into Christ's most compassionate heart- from religious to unbelievers to lukewarm followers.
There's almost nothing more awesome than that.
It was so calming- a spiritual peace would come into my soul as I said the first words of the novena each time. And praying the Divine Mercy Novena for nine days straight really made me aware of how praying for mercy for yourself and others gives us humility and allows us to be more patient and merciful ourselves.

I'm only 50 pages into St. Faustina's Diary, and already highlighting and notes can be seen on almost every page. It can be very random- a description of a trip to a shrine in one entry and then a deep reflection on forgiveness and tons of other mind-blowing things that only the Holy Spirit could have inspired.
Just as Jesus promised St. Faustina that she would receive many graces, so can we receive graces just from reading His message through her words.
I would highly recommend getting a copy if you're interested.

Divine Mercy is a devotion that every Catholic can fall in love with- especially with the Year of Mercy coming up.
It has already helped me have a stronger faith and prayer life, and it's only been a little over a week.
I can't wait to read even more and become more devoted to our Lord's mercy!

May you be constantly reminded of how much God loves you and that His mercy is unconditional no matter what happens in your life.

Easter✞

HAPPY EASTER!!!
It's always kind of bothered me that we don't have a special way to say "Happy Easter". Like "Merry Christmas". "Merry Easter" just sounds wrong.
And bunnies. Why bunnies?

But do you know what's more important?!?
Jesus.

I was going to have this whole long post about Lenten reflections, but then it was almost midnight and with only about 30 minutes of Lent left, I figured that it wasn't worth it. I also figured that you've had enough of my vague and deep ramblings. So instead I have something that is in no way vague and is straight to the point; a graph.

 

 

I can't measure the "amount of holiness" inside of me, but from what I can remember, it went something like this. Let's agree to ignore the first 3/4 of it. Now that last week- that was pretty fantastic.

I finally got myself to much-needed confession, was filled to the brim with awesome graces that made me feel finally close to God again, went to mass and stations, prayed, etc. The Triduum was pretty great too. I used to think that I had to be overwhelmed with intense emotions when thinking about anything related to Christ's Passion. But you don't, you just have to be there with Him, hold Him, wait for Him.

 

There's this image I've had in my mind over the past few weeks: walking the road to Calvary with Jesus, picking up my cross every day, and finally being worthy to die and rise with Him. Halfway though Lent, when I found myself not moving forward at all, I thought I wouldn't make it and that I'd be left behind. It wasn't until after He came back for me that I realized that I am and never will be worthy do die with Him. Even Peter, his right hand man, refused to be crucified the same way. It doesn't depend on if I'm worthy or not, it depend on if I'm willing to receive His mercy or not.

 

 

 

Easter, oh Easter. Is there really a certain way you're supposed to feel around Easter time? It's not warm and cozy like Christmas.

 

It's calm. The soft rain trickles onto the pavement. The green grass shoots up its roots inch by inch. The flowers open their buds and the degrees slowly rise. Everything is new.

There's joy. The joy of running into Christ's arms. Even just 3 days without Him is agonizing. His arms around you, relief flowing out of you from His embrace. Silence. Because no words need to be said between you. For my soul, being with Him is enough, and everything else is not enough.