Bring on the Suffering

We've made it guys!!! Finally, the first Sunday of Lent. (a.k.a. time for me to have chocolate and catch up on everything that's been going on in the internet). You'd be surprised what you can miss in less than a week.
Now that we've taken the first step, there's no going back. For me, it hasn't been that painful, which means I'm probably doing something wrong. Anyone can come up with an excuse for anything. I've been inching in, but it's time to jump in headfirst.

Something that I have done these past few days is fasting from music. I know, kind of weird. And considering that the only music I ever listen to is Christian music, there really isn't a need. It's not like I'm listening to all those horrible song lyric and letting them infiltrate my mind. Remember those Benedictine's album I mentioned? That's all I've been listening to. It's such a relief to plug in my headphones and immerse myself in the chanting as I work. And then Sunday comes around and I can enjoy my favorite Jesus Jams even more than I regularly would. The nun's songs are the constant simplicity that I have a feeling will carry me through this Lent.

I know it's lame to talk about the weather but it's the most interesting thing in my life right now. You see, down here in Texas if the temperature drops below 40 and it starts sprinkling, everything within a 100 mile radius shuts down. Completely. The grocery stores are wiped out and all flights are cancelled. I'm only slightly exaggerating. Slightly.
Which means, I don't have school tomorrow! A snow day without snow? We have a lot of those...

So for some encouragement and motivation as we face the first full week of Lent, I have some quotes/bible verses that I think are pretty great.

"As Lent is the time for greater love, listen to Jesus' thirst...'Repent and Believe" Jesus tells us. What are we to repent? Our indifference, our hardness of heart. What are we to believe? Jesus thirsts even now, in your heart and in the poor-- he knows your weakness, He wants only your love, wants only the chance to love you."

-Mother Teresa

 

"The most beautiful act of faith is the one made in darkness, in sacrifice, and with extreme effort."

-Padre Pio

 

"Be careful that your hearts do not become drowsy from the anxieties of this life, and that day catch you by surprise."

-I forgot to write down the verse number oops

 

 

I'm really looking forward to Easter. But even more than that, I'm looking forward to more suffering because more suffering means more love.
To choose all is to give all.

 





And to dust we shall return

So I was planning on writing a pre-Lenten reflection yesterday, but obviously that didn't happen.
AND NOW IT'S ASH WEDNESDAY CAN SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME HOW IT APPEARED SO QUICKLY?!?

I have to admit, Lent has always been really scary to me. Fasting, praying, it's all so pointless without love (which I didn't really have a lot of).
I didn't understand Lent. Lent is one of those things you have to understand in your heart. Even if you give up everything possible to give up without going crazy and you didn't do it out of love, it's completely pointless. It doesn't change you. It's a waste.

But if when you are tempted to break your Lenten fast or be lazy in your prayer life and instead you look up and say to God "no. I'm going to do this for You. You're more important." That's what Lent is all about.

I'm trying to keep this short and sweet because I wasn't really planning on blogging during Lent. Maybe on Sundays. I think that sounds like a good plan.


But before I go, I want to give you three little things that have already made the start to my Lent pretty great.

1) Lent at Ephesus- Benedictines of Mary, Queen of Apostles.
This CD can be purchased for about $12 off iTunes, and it is definitely worth it. I've been listening to it (literally) non-stop all afternoon while I do my homework. Basically, these awesome contemplative nuns are so awesome that people wanted to make their music available to the public so that we could all know what it is like to be in their chapel. And it is soooooo beautiful!!!!
I mean, come on. Nuns + Lent= Awesome Lent

2) Stations of the Cross
At my old school on every Friday of Lent, we would get together and pray the Stations of the Cross in our beautiful church. In high school, however we don't have the time and space to do that.
So I came up with an alternative.
I cut out these tiny and beautiful pictures of each station and put them around my room. Now every Friday I can walk around my room and pray. And seeing them each day is a nice reminder of how much Christ suffered out of love for us and that now it's our turn to suffer for Him.

3) Veggie Tales!!!!!!!
I used to love Veggie Tales so much when I was a kid. I have fond memories of learning about the wall of Jericho and singing along to the song "I don't got no belly button".
In the society we're living in, most of the t.v. shows meant to be watched by teens are just about sarcasm, sex, and selfishness. It's horrible. I do have a few shows that I really enjoy watching that don't lay it on heavy, but this Lent I'm going to enjoy myself and watch some old Veggie Tales classics when I'm bored instead of any old show on Netflix.

And if you were wondering, the title of this post doesn't really have anything to do with what I just wrote. I just thought it sounded cool.

Man Crush Monday (Catholic Version)

I can't help myself from falling in love with just about every saint whose biography I read, even if it is just a paragraph.
But every once and a while, I come across one who is special.
I know they're special because I feel like I know them, like I could talk to them just as if they were next to me.
Of course, it does help to be able to read their personal writings.
Most of the time these saints I find are widely known and loved, and I have to remind myself that they aren't exclusively for me, that such wonderful people must be shared.

My latest fascination is different than the usual adolescent girl type that I'm normally drawn to (Therese, Maria Goretti, Chiara Luce).
He is a boy.
The only other male saint who I've ever felt drawn to have a devotion to is JPII (and Jesus, but that's a different type of relationship altogether).

My latest obsession is no less than Bl. Pier Giorgio Frassati
a.k.a. Bl. Pier Giorgio Frahottie ;)

Yes, he is a very attractive young Catholic man. There is no denying that.
But more importantly is who he was and how he lived.

I'm not going to give you a biography because I still need to read a complete one myself, but I will give you a couple incidents that I feel makes him seem so real.

Bl. Frassati's father was not a man of faith. In fact, he could be considered an atheist. He didn't understand or approve of his son's love of the Church and of Christ.
Knowing this helps me to know that even when those close to me don't get why I love Jesus so much, I shouldn't worry about what they think of me, only of what God thinks of me.

Bl. Frassati liked to have fun. He would go to parties and gamble and have fun with his friends. There was one point when he was playing a game of poker or pool or something and one of his friends asked him what he would do if he knew that the world would end very soon.
He told his friend that he would go along playing the game because God could see how perfectly content and joyful he was in that moment and wouldn't want it to be any different.
(keep in mind that I'm paraphrasing.)

When he lost bets to his friends, he would pay them what he owed, seeing as he came from a wealthy family but had no problem giving it all away.
When his friends lost bets to him, however, he would force them to go to mass or adoration with him. He would be reverently praying in a pew and his friends would be asleep in the back of the Church.

Pier and his friends formed a society purely for the purpose of playing practical jokes on people, like messing up the sheets on a priest friend's bed so that he couldn't put his feet all the way down.

Bl. Frassati loved the outdoors and the feel of the sun on his face and blood pumping through his veins.
He loved laughing out of pure joy and spending time with people who made him happy.
He loved giving all that he had away, and this eventually led him to die at the age of 24 of polio which he probably contracted from the poor he served.

Bl. Frassati lived. He lived life to the fullest and never looked back.
I ask for his intercession that I (and also whoever is reading this) could be as brave as he was and truly be who we were made to be.

And in the words of Bl. Frassati himself,

Verso L'Alto

"To the heights"

Becoming a Morning Person

Before I begin, let me make this clear: I have never been and never will be a person who functions best before noon.

The alarm went off at 6 o'clock, and the soft melody to Audrey Assad's "Restless" snuck into my dreams before I realized that it wasn't just in my head. I faintly remember muttering no more than the first third of the Angelus before drifting off again.


Finally at 6:45 I managed to drag myself out of bed, put my cold feet on the ground, pull out my phone and pray Lauds, or the morning prayer of the Church, from my Laudate app.
The repetitive chanting of the words is just what my lazy brain needs when it wants to sleep for another twelve hours. I'm not awake enough to come up with such beautiful words myself to set myself on the right path for the rest of the day.
The short reading is always on point- or maybe I think it's really philosophical because I'm still so tired. And the petitions are beyond beautiful:

"Every day is proof of your love: as you bring us this new day, make us new in mind and heart."
"May our lives today be filled with your compassion; give us the spirit of forgiveness and a generous heart."

And the closing prayer- "The Lord bless us, and keep us from all evil, and bring us to everlasting life."
Morning prayer is just what I need to hold my life together.


Now that I was slightly more awake, I was able to lift my heart to the heavens and recite the lyrics of one of my favorite songs right now: "Love Came Down"
"If my heart is overwhelmed and I cannot hear Your voice, I'll hold on to what is true though I cannot see. If the storms of life they come, and the road ahead gets steep, I will life these hands in praise; I will believe.
I'll remind myself of all that You've done and the life I had because of Your Son.
Love came down and rescued me, Love came down and set me free,
and I am Yours, I am forever Yours."

I also felt very fancy and sophisticated this morning as I relaxed while eating my delicious bowl of oatmeal with plenty of brown sugar and a nice cup of English Breakfast tea. Yum. It would have been the perfect time to read a couple pages of The Story of a Soul.

As my mom pulled out of the driveway to take me to school, I glanced up at the sky and gasped in wonder and awe at the sky above me. Clouds are always prettiest at dawn and at dusk. And today they were magnificent.
I could hear so clearly Jesus taking me by the hand and saying "see how much I love you?"

Now you may be thinking that my morning could not get any better than this. But you're wrong.
I had theology first period, and my teacher announced that we were going to daily mass in the chapel.
My heart started racing in my chest, I was so excited. I couldn't believe my luck.
*correction: I couldn't believe that the Holy Spirit was being so good to me*


When I got home from school, I went outside and sat down in our hammock to reflect on how awesome the day had been and to relax. It was the perfect time to pray the rosary, so I did. The sky was blue, birds were chirping, the trees were swaying in the wind, and my brothers were having fun playing soccer. All was right in the world.
(and if you were wondering, yes I live in Texas so we're enjoying wonderful weather as opposed to all that snow up north).

This put the in the perfect mood to be a productive person for once, and the result is that my room is more clean than it has been in at least a month. And I got some homework done even though I don't have classes tomorrow. 
And now I get to enjoy myself and read and write and pray and eat puppy chow while sitting on my comfy bed and I am happy :)


Today has been the best day I've had in a long time.
On a scale of 1-10, it was probably an 8. I'm saving my 9 for the Best Day Ever. And 10 for Heaven of course.
And it all started with taking the time this morning to find my inner peace, joy, and thankfulness and to appreciate the beauty of the day lying before me. I should try it more often.

Just to close this very, very long blog post, I want to leave you awesome person with a couple verses from the book of Proverbs that I flipped open to between cleaning and doing homework. My favorite are the last two lines. Very deep.

Proverbs 16: 1-9
"Plans are made in human hearts,
but from the Lord comes the tongue's response.
All one's ways are pure in one's own eyes,
but the measurer of motives is the Lord.
Entrust your works to the Lord,
and your plans with succeed.
The Lord has made everything for a purpose,
even the wicked for the evil day.
Every proud heart is an abomination to the Lord;
be assured that none will go unpunished.
By steadfast loyalty guilt is expiated,
and by fear of the Lord evil is avoided.
When the Lord is pleased with someone's ways,
he makes even enemies be at peace with them.
Better a little with justice,
than a large income with injustice.
The human heart plans the way,
but the Lord directs the steps."

 

Mama Mary, Lovely Lady

How lucky are we, to have a mother who loves us so?

Who is spending her eternity diligently begging at the feet of her Son for our every need and worry.

Every Catholic is called to have a devotion to Mary. Why?

Because Jesus did. He devoted the first 30 years of His life to allowing her to teach Him and guide Him and love Him.

Over the past few months, I've grown to appreciate our heavenly mother for her tenderness and beauty. Not because she is physically beautiful, although I am sure she is, but because she let (and continues to) God's will shine through her perfectly. 

Without Jesus, Mary is nothing more than a virtuous girl. There would be no point to asking for her intercession any more than the other saints.

But God chose her to be the vessel in which to carry the greatest treasure this world has ever known.

Is there anything more beautiful than that?

 

All of these images are some of my absolute favorites :)

 

May the most blessed mother, queen of Heaven and of our hearts, guide you even closer to her Son.

 

 

 

 

Virtual Adoration

I am so blessed to go to a school where adoration is offered on the first Friday of every month.
Well, I wish it were every Friday. Or every day. But you don't always get everything you wish for.

Actually, today was the first time I took advantage of this awesome opportunity.

Those 15 minutes I spent in our Lord's presence after eating lunch were the best moments of my life since the hours I spent with Him last weekend.
Sometimes, 15 minutes is all you need to be able to keep going.

A couple of months ago, I was surfing the web, just checking out some Catholic websites (probably ones about nuns). Because that is one of the main things I do in my free time.
I stumbled upon a page that had "virtual adoration". It probably had a much more eloquent name. But I'm not the most eloquent person.

Last weekend, the only picture I managed to take was the one below. It's the most important one, after all.

I know that adoration when you're physically in God's presence is always going to be better than just looking at a picture.
But some of us can't go every day.
And when this picture was taken, He was present.

So if you have time (or even if you don't have time), take a moment right now to place your heart and mind and soul in front of God.

Let Him consume you.
Let Him be with you.
Let Him love you.

I'm doing it too, don't worry.

Complete surrender is one of the hardest things ever. But it's enough just to let Him take your hand and tell Him that you want to love Him.
And even if you don't want Him to love you, that in no way lessens His affection for you.
Oh, how He loves you.

May you seek the Lord with an earnest and humble heart day after day :)

CFR Retreat

Hello you wonderful people.
I just had some of the best days of my life.

If any of you have hung around for the two long months I've been blogging about my oh-so-interesting world, then you may remember one of my first posts, which was titled "Sisters :)"

I'll post the link below for those of you who haven't read it. I know how annoying it can be to have to scroll through pages and pages of stuff.

http://bornfromaboveblog.blogspot.com/2014/12/sisters.html?m=1

Basically it was a description of a handful of lively and vibrant religious orders that every young Catholic girl, discerning or not, should check out. And number 4 on that list were the Franciscan Sisters of the Renewal, whom I mentioned I would get the chance to meet later this year.

See where I'm going with this???

Yes, I just spent 3 joy filled days with the Friars and Sisters of the Renewal. I had heard a ton about how awesome they are. And you can take my word for it, they are awesome!

The entire retreat can be summed up in just a few short words: Confession, the Rosary, Mass, Adoration. And these things happen to be my favorite things in the entire world.
It was so beautiful. And you wouldn't believe how many graces you receive from spending 15 hours in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
I told you it was AWESOME!!!

So now that it's been a few days and that wonderful retreat high has gradually faded, what's changed?
Well, my relationships with the people who were there with me have changed. It's like we all have this silent and bonding knowledge that Jesus is the best thing ever, which He is.

And now I'm just trying to love Him more.
Isn't that what life is about?

 

One last thing- during Adoration, there was one song in particular that made all the emotions overflow. I'll post a link to it below.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frws0SAEy9A

Jesus and Popcorn

"Pleeeease!!! Pleeeeaaasse can I have some?" Whines my adorable younger brother, reaching for the cookie dough.
"No, we're about to go to mass." I remind him.
"So???"

I think for a couple seconds.

"We're not supposed to eat before mass."
"What? Why?"
He grabs a handful of popcorn from the kitchen counter.
"Because, we're about to recieve Jesus. And we don't want Jesus all mixed up with popcorn, do we?"

His eyes widen with the realization that maybe Jesus is real, maybe this is important.

I catch him 10 minues later slurping down a Sprite. I guess I wasn't clear enough that the 1-hour ban of food before mass is extended to drinks too.

(Get it?!? It's Jesus eating a cookie!!! Hahaha!!!)

Too often in our Church today, the simple rules that we were taught as children are dismissed because "if you want to follow them, you can, but God's not going to kill you if you don't feel like it."
My own family doesn't always believe in some Church Doctrine.

They know I do.
As they put it, I "care about that stuff."
But just because I feel strongly about it doesn't make them feel obligated to do it too.

And I don't blame them.

Maybe I should clarify.

They may be my family, and they have shaped who I am, but we're still different people who have had different experiences. And the experiences I have had (in adoration and other things) have led me to completely believe in and love God. And not only that, it has changed the person I am.

I didn't do this. Actually, I have nothing to do with it. For some reason, God chose me to know Him. So it's my responsibility to help the people around me know Him too and get to heaven.

It's a very thin and treacherous line when someone  wants to help those close to them (like their parents). It takes a whole lot of humility.
If they ever read this, I want them to know that all I'm saying is that I love God and I love them and all I want is to do His will.

Where was I going with all of this?
I'm not really sure.

But back to the Jesus and popcorn thing.
It may seem outrageous to follow seemingly pointless rules without hesitation.
But what you may not know is that I once had hesitation. There was a point in my life when I didn't really believe. And I questioned and searched and God brought me to the conclusion that the Church would never ask me to do something if it wasn't going to help me love God more.

And if we can't be faithful in the little things, how are we ever going to have the strength and courage to be faithful when it really matters?

p.s.
If anyone was wondering, the cookies turned out really yummy

p.p.s.
I'm writing a speech in my speech class about JPII and I'm really excited :)